feelings

im sick of acting happy
what for acting happy
i found no point of doing that
but i really don't want to become like this
emotional
suppose i should laughing around with friends
suppose i should running around just to meet friends
suppose
i should'nt trying so hard just to make a fake smile on my face
i hate the feelings of being alone and helpless
especially in the night
but nevermind
i'll be fine
probably
i'd been through all this
this should be an easy task for me now
don't ask me why
i can't even answer myself this question
i really need a hug
i'll be fine afterthat

i will be fine
not a big problem
just putting a smile on my face
what's so difficult

does smile always represent the feelings of happy?
if yes
i'll smile
and laugh
just if i could